The Art of Becoming: Navigating Life Transitions with Courage
If you’re reading this while questioning everything you thought you knew about your life, your beliefs, or your future - then this article is for you.
I’ve reinvented myself at least three times in my adult life. Not necessarily by choice, but by necessity. Not because I had it all figured out, but because staying the same was no longer an option.
In 2001 I transitioned out of leadership of Rock Harbor Church, a non-denominational megachurch I launched and led since 1997. In 2006 I left my evangelical roots and became a what's often called a 'straight ally' to the LGBTQ community. In 2011, after my divorce, I launched an LGBTQ welcoming church for marginalized friends and community members. In 2017, I left the faith world entirely and found myself more comfortable in a secular humanistic way of life.
Each transition felt like stepping off a cliff in the dark. Each time, I wondered if I was making a terrible mistake. Each time, I discovered that the person I was becoming was more authentic than the person I was leaving behind.
If you’re in the middle of your own major life transition - whether it’s divorce, empty nest, career change, faith deconstruction, or caring for aging parents - I want you to know something: You are not alone, and it’s never too late to become who you were meant to be.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Transitions
Here’s what no one tells you about major life transitions: they’re supposed to feel virtually impossible.
When I resigned from Rock Harbor, I felt like my world had ended. When I went through my divorce in 2011, I couldn’t imagine a future where I’d be happy again. When I left faith entirely in 2017, I wondered if I was throwing away everything that had given my life meaning.
But here’s what I’ve learned through multiple reinventions: transitions are natural. Look at the plant and animal world. Everything goes through seasons of growth, dormancy, shedding and renewal. I'd say we humans are no different.
The problem isn’t the transition itself - it’s how we’ve been taught to view them. We see endings as failures instead of completions. We see change as betrayal instead of evolution. We see uncertainty as dangerous instead of full of possibility.
But what if we’re wrong? What if transitions aren’t disruptions to our “real” life, but the very mechanism by which we become our most authentic selves?
What I’ve Learned from Three Major Reinventions
Through my journeys that have included becoming a father, launching and moving from churches, navigating divorce, the death of both parents and then completely reconstructing my worldview, I’ve discovered some truths about transitions that I wish someone had shared with me earlier:
~ You Are More Resilient Than You Know
I used to think resilience meant never falling down. Now I know it means getting back up, again and again, even when you’re not sure you have the strength. There’s life after moral failures. There’s life after divorce. There’s life after leaving everything you once believed. The best was - and is - yet to come.
When my parents died in 2009 and 2012, I thought their absence would define the rest of my life. Instead, I discovered that love doesn’t end with death - it transforms. When my marriage ended, I thought I’d failed at the most important relationship of my life. Instead, I learned that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let someone go.
~ Transitions Have Their Own Timeline
You can’t rush becoming. I tried to speed through the discomfort of leaving evangelicalism, attempted to skip the grief of my parents ’deaths, and wanted to fast-forward through the loneliness of divorce. None of it worked.
Major transitions require what I call “sacred time” - time to feel, to process, to sit with uncertainty and to let the old identity dissolve before the new one emerges. The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly overnight, and neither do we.
My advice for anyone in a time of transition: Take this one moment, one breath, one minute, one day at a time. You don’t have to figure out your whole future today. You just have to take the next right step.
~ Others Have Been Where You Are
One of the most healing discoveries in my journey has been finding fellow travelers - people who had walked similar paths and could say to me, “I see you, I understand, and you’re going to make it through this.”
When I was deconstructing my faith, connecting with others who had walked away from fundamentalism gave me permission to question everything. When I was navigating divorce, talking with people who had rebuilt their lives after marriage endings showed me that happiness was still possible. When I was learning to live without the God I had spent decades trying to please, appease, and fear, meeting others who had found meaning in secular humanism opened up new possibilities for purpose and connection.
You are not alone. Whatever transition you’re navigating, others have been where you are. You can pick up the phone and call a fellow traveler who will listen without judgment.
The Power of Permission
Of all my values, the one most relevant to transitions is what I call **Witness** - the profound importance of being seen and understood during tender and sensitive seasons.
Too often, we navigate transitions in isolation, afraid that others will judge our changes, question our decisions, or try to talk us out of our becoming. But transition requires witnesses - people who can see us clearly, hold space for our uncertainty, and remind us that change is not betrayal.
I’ve learned to give myself - and others - permission to evolve. Permission to outgrow old beliefs. Permission to end relationships that no longer serve. Permission to start over at 40, 50, 60, or beyond. Permission to disappoint some people in order to become authentic.
Here’s your permission slip: It’s never too late to go back to school. It’s never too late to create a new career. It’s never too late to make big changes, little changes, or subtle changes. You get to define this transition for yourself. If you say it’s the end of the world, you’ll probably feel that way. If you say this is a new beginning, you’ll probably feel that way too.
What Transitions Really Ask of Us
Transitions don’t ask us to have all the answers. They ask us to be honest about what’s no longer working. They don’t require us to be fearless. They require us to act with courage despite our fear. They don’t demand perfection. They demand authenticity.
The people I work with are often in the middle of profound transitions: divorce or separation, caring for aging parents, watching adult children leave home, becoming grandparents, deconstructing from religious faith, facing health challenges, or simply feeling stuck in lives that no longer fit.
What they need isn’t someone to fix them or rush them through the process. They need someone to witness their journey, to remind them that transitions are natural, and to help them discover who they’re becoming on the other side.
Your Transition, Your Terms
If you’re in the middle of a major life transition right now, I want you to know: **You’re not broken. You’re evolving, and evolution is never neat or comfortable. **You don’t have to have it all figured out. Clarity comes through movement, not analysis. **You’re allowed to grieve what you’re leaving behind. Even if it’s something you chose to leave. **You’re allowed to be excited about what’s coming. Even if others don’t understand. **You get to take your time. There’s no schedule for becoming.
**You deserve support. Find your fellow travelers, your witnesses, your guides.
The natural world teaches us that the most beautiful growth happens in the space between seasons—when the old is dying and the new hasn’t fully emerged yet. That in-between space is sacred, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Your transition is not a detour from your real life. It’s not a mistake or a failure or a crisis to be quickly resolved. It’s the very process by which you become who you were always meant to be.
Your Next Chapter
I don’t know what transition you’re navigating. Maybe you’re questioning the faith that once anchored you. Maybe you’re facing the end of a marriage or wondering how to care for aging parents. Maybe you’re launching adult children or reinventing your career. Maybe you’re simply feeling stuck in a life that no longer fits.
What I do know is this: You have everything within you to navigate this transition with grace, authenticity, and hope. You are more resilient than you know. You are not alone. Others have walked this path before you and can light the way.
Your story isn’t ending. It’s just beginning a new chapter. And the author of that story? That’s you.
Ready to navigate your transition with support? I specialize in walking alongside people during life’s most challenging and transformative seasons. Whether you’re dealing with loss, major life changes, or simply feeling stuck, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Contact me for a free consultation to explore how coaching can support your journey of becoming.
Email:** keithpagecoaching@gmail.com
Phone:** 949.701.3631
Website:** www.keithpage.org
Because sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is become who you really are.
